Monday, March 26, 2007
Slamming the door shut seemed like the best way to vent out my anger.
Or perhaps blasting my cellphone just to drain down distractions from outside.
But i can't do these anymore.
I need a new way to find peace.
iTunes' prety screwed.
My ipod's faulty.
I had to make my own way back again to wheelock just to get it fixed.
I had no mood to do anything.
I'm pretty blank right now.
I can't be bothered about you,
But still, i'm concerned.
I'm struggling just to know myself, what i really want.
Honestly, i do not know much of myself.
So it's pointless saying everything about you knowing me.
I might seemed as if i'm oblivious about everything and about everyone.
But i'm a sharp person, really.
I take things too personally sometimes,
I always put myself to fault.
Worse still,
Regretting when i am nowhere at fault.
But i have to say,
Friendship isn't about just having fun or feeling elated being together.
Nor is it about a party having too many common topics to talk.
It never worked out with me.
I talk to many extended mails sometimes,
Without any commen interest,
But i feel much more comfortable if i'd ever meet them then talking to sick people.
I can't stand you being peverse.
It's nothing gotta do with me being religious.
Friendship is about earnesty.
I'm sure no one haa yet to ever realise.
Or maybe i'm overjudging you.
Prove me then.
In every prayer i would say;
' Speed things- fast'
Cos time is not a desperate thing for me.
Time was not my medicine.
It will never be, cos i'm the kind who likes jumping into scenes,
And reviewing them eventually,
Just so i've not been missed them.
Be it being in the worse class next year, i don't care.
It could have been His blessing to me.
I'm surendering everything i'm holding onto now.
My posts aren't always relevant.
It could be the most random thing you've known.
From boredom, to lameness, to happiness and onto pain.
I could go on and on, just talking to you about these things.
I don't go shit talking behind anybody's back.
Just so you know, this is a private blog.
And i must say that i have the fullest authority to say whatever i want to say.
To blog out what i feel.
Cos it's what had been keeping my mouth shut,
Instead of shovelling it straight to your face.
( I bet you haven't read this far)
I'm not done yet.I miss my mom somehow.
And i can't believe the feeling gets stronger when time's acutally getting closer.
I'm gonna fly over and meet her tmr.
I feel like pouring out everything that no one had understood.
They always ask;
' Are you okay? 'And they always say;
' Things are gonna be fine.'Hey, thanks for the concern.
But as much as i want to,
I can't seem to put myself in a happy mood these days.
Hence, everyone should know that i'm feeling less happy then i am feeling sad.
6:02 pm
